Ponder, Feel, Walk On

2009-05-01T01:20:00.001+08:00

i cant deny
until i get the final confirmation
will i then rest my case
the waiting time made me think alot
lots of possibilities went thru my mind and lots of what ifs
at the same time having to tolerate the discomfort seriously made it bad enough
yet im praying all is well...

no matter what
i totally am cutting the smoke and drinks
and make it a point to eat and drink healthy
bcoz i dont think i can afford to go thru such period a second time

till the urine test is out
==================================================

Happy 21st LB
very sorry this negative "situation" came at ur bday and i feel bad about not being able to make it..
i sincerely wishes u great heath and happiness
and finally everything is MADE OFFICIAL and LEGAL!
so have a whole lot of legalised fun and excitement this entire life journey
and its 8 months down to schools' out
hang in there and we will make it thru

<3

"Be happy with me, no matter what it might be .."

I pray to u for the safety of all mankind,
the blessing of my best friend, Jo
and to all that i love.

2009-04-26T16:25:00.001+08:00

"She was seeking herself and finding herself in just such sweet, half-darkness which met her moods. But the voices were not soothing that came to her from the darkness and the sky above and the stars. They jeered and sounded mournful notes without promise, devoid even of hope. "The past was nothing to her; offered no lesson which she was willing to heed. The future was a mystery which she never attempted to penetrate. The present alone was significant; was hers, to torture her as it was doing then with the biting conviction that she had lost that which she had held, that she had been denied that which her impassioned, newly awakened being demanded."
-((KateChopin-The Awakening.))

Make Merry, be happy
a small dosage is good enough

2009-04-24T14:47:00.001+08:00

<3

"If You have the strength to comfort me, why not give her my blessings?"

2009-04-21T18:06:00.001+08:00

Misses the many old friends and our good old times
and indeed things do change as time passes
and cruelly reality made those changes necessary
we dont have a choice because we are in for what was already "standardize"
can we still say because we want to, therefore we deserve those little fights and rights to get them?
having been there , done that
can we really stood on and not feel shaken when we are that close to reality?
===============================================================

I really misses those whose now residing overseas
i miss those old days
at our normal hangout place
and those mindless weekly get togethers
but the most i could do is to wish for nothing of them other then
hoping all is well
and if there is a chance
we will meet up pretty soon again

"Those seldom thoughts just made things look like its just some random unintended, visiting too often"

2009-04-15T23:49:00.000+08:00

Contemplating...
Toy Museum
Zouk
Butter Factory
Road Trip

A380

Its been awhile, Old Friends
come May
=)

Hope all is well

2009-04-05T19:16:00.003+08:00

I woke up today with a totally familiar feeling
my heart ached immediately having it as company was tears
Vividly i still recognize that voice and look
how come this dream wasnt like a dream ?
when the heart of mine ached a fair bit causing me to wake up and remember so clearly?

I thought i have let this go
I knew I did...
but maybe my subconiousness was still clinging on to the many questions causing the inner sound to pinch once in awhile...

I knew that i didnt forget totally
instead i clearly Knew i rememebered them not with the heart but at the very back of my mind

maybe its just my way of talking myself out that u never did me any wrong
and by making me this selfish to stay "alongside those yesterdays" a little while longer

maybe next time
i will smile and greet you
like a friend whom I havent seen for a long time
maybe next time
we will laugh it off over coffee talking about the then
or
maybe next time
there wouldnt afterall be a next time
to even apply " nice to see you again "

2009-04-05T01:53:00.003+08:00

The BB Cream, aka Blemish Balm, is *the* hottest beauty product in Asia right now. The product was originated in Germany and used by dermatologists to help patients who have gone through laser skin surgery soothe and regenerate the skin.
Soon after, Korean celebs started using the cream and a craze was born. Big companies then took the idea and turned it into a product widely available to the public. The new product is suitable for all skin types, especially those with sensitive and acne-prone skin. It has the advantages of both a makeup and skincare product. It can even out skintone, camouflage undereye circles, acne scars and add radiance to the skin without the heavy mask-like effects of a foundation. Prolonged used of the product will also help improve the overall texture of the skin and fade acne scars -Quote for makeupforlife.com

Few BB cream reviews that aint bad are:

Skin 79, BRTC, or those from face shop or skin food

I wana get one really soon

till i try them on myself

we will have chance to go nude like we didnt wear make up

1 more day 1 more day

god bless !

2009-04-03T20:18:00.002+08:00

Kim Hyun Joong from SS501 was the model for Han Sang Hyuk

My Favourite collection among those designers is IMSEONOC

Celebrity, Hwangbo was invited as one of IMSEONOC's model along with her fellow variety show host infinity girls

This year's Seoul Fashion Week ended yesterday

above are some of the collections for S/S09

i notice most of the koreans designers uses alot of layerings as their style

and this made wearing garment much more interesting

i happen to charge upon another Japan Men Label- John Lawarence Sullivan

The collection is 2 thumbs up

will blog about it with some of his collection soon

God keep blessing me

its so near yet so far

2009-04-01T00:16:00.008+08:00

1st April
its APRIL!!!
4months down
8 MORE months to go
im seriously looking forward to the months flying pass swiftly..
but at the same time theres alot of questions at the back of my mind

" Sometimes its just about that, having that much and knowing that much "
there are things that isnt at all within you even if one is willing to try hard
==================================================================
do we still remember,
how we just cry when we are hungry
how we just cry when we wet our diapers
how we just cry when we dont have the toys we want

do we still remember,
how easy the smile was once we are fed
how easy the smile was once we had our diapers change
how easy the smile was once we had toys to play with

Its ok to slow down chasing those dreams and look back to whats left behind

2009-03-26T19:26:00.004+08:00

The Father Time really Passes like its rushing to send this year off swiftly
and yet the time of the year whereby i grew a fair bit older
my humble 23rd
time reall flies
and sometimes before u catch ur breathe, u are already swept off to aging yet another year

At times like that i would usually sit back and thought about stuff happening the year before and i was thinking that there are things i felt bad about and things that im thankful about
sometimes i thought that my straight forwardness actually hurts ppl around me
but i seriously didnt mean harm when i said those things
i just thought the best out of them
because i do care therefore i do not want to see them soo tired out or hurt..

theres alot of things i want to improve:
things like to learn to spend more time with friends
things like to fulfill what i could within the family
things like to express myself more to people whom i do feel for
things like to always always always learn to appreciate and hold on to that thankfulness and be modest about it

theres many things i regretted and felt sorry about
especially this particular day
ive thought thru alot on myself
ive reflected
ive pondered and ive asked myself lots of questions
theres alot of things i couldnt undo
or try to redo them
but the only things i could do is to hold those gratitude
and live on to improve myself better

having said all that

Happy birthday to me
and i wishes nothing but good health wrapped around all the loved ones

"Autumn came forcefully and left,
promising its return the very next year"

it will only get better for all of us
the sight would perhaps be the same
but the whole meaning and having to experience it another time
would be different
have faith in better times as i always held on that I have the time, of my life

2009-03-23T23:24:00.004+08:00

23th March
11.24pm
ive got an unexpected mail in my inbox

Mercury M&C

thank god for the late reply
and it came at the right time

good things are worth the wait
im waiting for the interview
and hopefully by then
i would get a chance to do the very first event which is the Audi Fashion Festival 2009
this is my best bday present

God keep blessing me

2009-03-12T17:23:00.004+08:00

13 more days to sweet surrenders
and and
15 more days to the 23rd bday
time seriously flies
and i wish it would go faster
for this whole year to go by before i came to realise it
BECAUSE i wana end school days

to be exact its 9 months 20 days
to the whole end of 2009
so everyday i will count down till its finally over

mum says the year end would be to destination Nippon
HOPEFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!

alright everything is rather the norms nothing much i wana say or jot down

" one day we will all know that simple stuff only begans when we stop asking "

2009-03-06T06:17:00.002+08:00

the state of mind is telling me that i have nothing much to do about it
or go about trying to make do about it
reality just nudge me back time and again
the avoided at the back of my mind is just temporary
i still couldnt ignore and become ignornant of what is before me
not that its not worth it
perhaps i dont have confidences in myself or would i think that highly of myself that it would
iron out

the next time round it would sit in better my love
for now just for now
im letting this whole thing go unsound....

jed mak jed mak

2009-03-06T06:17:00.001+08:00

2009-03-06T06:17:00.000+08:00

2009-03-02T06:27:00.007+08:00

Ive decided to leave a good space to many things whether is it people/issues

Im giving the upcoming trip a miss
I just felt strongly on going by relishing some of the stuff ive contemplate..
and i seriously hope some would be made real..
Not that going overseas with the clan is not a good idea
but perhaps i just felt that i should try to at least keep according to what ive planned on a bigger picture
and im just merely trying to safe guide it as per it is..

on another note
ive decided to " not go with the flow " by residing on the opposite side
i dont know if this whole thing is afterall gona work but i dont really want to mould it to look like it should rightfully happen
im good without the change of status..

2009-02-28T05:48:00.003+08:00

"In another enlightment
when the brightness draws
when closeness aint meant for words to describe
when laughing and acknowledgements are merely limited phrases
when you are just you and me is just me
Upon those strange yet familiar gestures are they what we rightfully call moments of entertainment ?
or
are they gona tail the ends with us till we close our very eyes forever?"

i see the whole stuff on another angle
maybe 60 miles different for what the usual sees
and being the opposite side
perhaps makes me feel
that i just afterall aint gona make the whole thing work

2009-02-27T03:09:00.003+08:00

許茹芸 & 阿穆隆 - 男人女人

"男人男人..
多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真
让我不必再心疼"

2009-02-24T22:46:00.000+08:00

Im waiting for you to come back home ~

2009-02-23T01:59:00.002+08:00

A smile is an intimate facial expression that speaks more than just an upward gestures done by the lips..

one that sends out a friendly acknowledgement when eyes are met.
one that hides all the upspoken appreciation one has done for another.
one that makes unspoken feelings answered.
one that marks an end in a more gentle approach.
one that denies all the truth to some others..
one that makes awkwardness refined..

a smile is simple yet held with millions of meaning behind it
a smile is nice when everything unsaid, undone is solved through it.

smile for it might make us better temporary or maybe to some for a little while longer

2009-02-22T22:17:00.006+08:00

I was just wondering days before where this friend of mine has gone to..
doesnt seem to hear about him alot lately..
dont see him online..
no comments on fb
no small talks during late nights
and in the end i brush it off to thinking his the same as me, busy with school assignment

I was wrong..
Just today.. he msn-ED me on his mobile
and broke the news that his at penang and into his 3rd week there
his gona stay there for good..
and in long term his not coming back.
I was taken aback and at the same time felt sad..

I felt sad because he must have faced some kinda major lifechanging "reality" that his gona ditch everything as close to heart as possible to go to somewhere soo new and foreign to him..
I felt sad because upon hearing what he told me, it just made us conclude what reality does to him and theres nothing he could do but to make the best of whats left.

I felt even more sad because in our whole life we cant deny as much as we tried to that
reality is something we hv to surrender to, whether we like it or not..

He simply said he chose kinship to whatever was supposely his piority..
He chose kinship to leaving everything here to somewhere new
To him as long as his with the kinship thats all that matters and thats where home is gona be all about..
I respected that and i sincerely want him to be happy and i believe every closure to something here leads to a new over the other side of the world..

I didnt wana post this up in FB under notes for I know some of his friends doesnt know much about his sudden move
therefore im dedicating this to u my friend,

my heartfelt wishes that everything will be good as u had love held near to ur hand and u are holding on to those u love, a kinship..
you didnt lose anything for you gona gain more.. an experience more than all of us

Ask yourself in the middle of the night, when ur days are coming to an end, how many was heartfelt comfort, warm hug and earnest blessing ? if those luxury and lavishness are what u sooth after..whats left of u in time is nothing but some kind of dust blown away by the wind.. i guess people would then say I dont remember much abt them, now that truly is sad

2009-02-15T20:13:00.007+08:00
Ive recently watched this Global Award Normination movie " Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
and was simply captivated by the scene of Barcelona and the level of liking Europe on a whole increased greatly..

Directed By: Woody Allen
Synopsis: Two young American women, Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) come to Barcelona for a summer holiday. Vicky is sensible and engaged to be married; Cristina is emotionally and sexually adventurous. In Barcelona, they're drawn into a series of unconventional romantic entanglements with Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem), a charismatic painter, who is still involved with his tempestuous ex-wife Maria Elena (PenÃlope Cruz). Set against the luscious Mediterranean sensuality of Barcelona, 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' is Woody Allen's funny and open-minded celebration of love in all its configurations.

After watching this movie, i had a whole new understanding and perhaps like what was said in the movie: " we were meant for each other and not meant for each other" and " only unfulfil love can be romantic"
now i do agree..

"que sel l'amour non satisfait est romantique"

my next movie on the list : Paris Je T'aime

2009-02-13T01:50:00.003+08:00
Im just plain lazy to upload photos from my camera
perhaps after i accumilate them and when i feel the thing to upload them
and im soo protesting assignments
and i havent been sleeping well
and it causes my mind to go haywire
and the reports are just darn sick
and i have soo much things to do other than assignments
and and and
i hope kangaroo cheese cracker from melb from him will arrive soon

and i wish all of you. Love~~

2009-02-07T00:03:00.004+08:00
I hope i can make out~
and I hope i have the patiences to try to hang by abit longer

I hope you are earnestly truthful not just to me thats important but to your very self.
I hope i can make you learn to trust and to make u realise that its ok to trust.
I hope that in time i will learn to cry because u are crying with me

I hope it doesnt fail us
and we dont fail this whole crap

Remember to remember
Forget to forget

to flow with
to fly with
to walk with

2009-02-02T04:54:00.007+08:00

I like the night better cause only then can i realise the cruel fact about what im avoidance of
I like the night bette cause only then can i sit by the room in total darkness to not hear a single sound
I like the night better cause only then can i remind myself that tomorrow is never gona be the same
I like the night better cause only then can i say im away from everyone and that includes u
I like the night better cause only then can i cry in darkness and not feel awkward to be seen
I like the night better cause only then can i try dreaming about what happens yesterday
I like the night better cause only then can i have no more reason to hide
I like the night better cause only then can i shine alongside with the millions of lights
I like the night
for every reason mentioned
I like the night ~

when YOU said fucking no .. it just made me laugh,
i remembered, the thing about swear romances
so this is what its about.SWeet~
" a tough book to read, hopefully it wont fail me"

2009-01-29T04:12:00.004+08:00
and so we thought...
we exist due to breathing
and so we thought..
we forget by not hating or loving
and so we thought...
we smile to hide those sadness
and so we thought..
we tried to move on by living on
and so we thought..
by doing so we thought its all that matters

dont say that you are doing it for anyone but your own sake
dont say that you are the sad living creature in sucha sorry state

if choices, chances,decisions,thoughts are what we are accountable of how many was lies to oneselfand how many was truth to others

" Through all the made up thoughts,deserve youself a smile,who knows, they might last you forever"

hot and cold interacts
not really very nice there
at times the thought was such nearby
at times it just distanced

P.S(i wana ink the back of my neck, it shall be a gift to myself)

2009-01-24T03:43:00.004+08:00
Time really flies
its just a few weeks before when 2009 just started
and now its coming into its 2nd month
barely a week n its 10 months on decending order
time is gona fly pass before we all know it

and the lunar new yr is 1 day away
the time when u visit relatives u barely see
the time to eat, booze , gather and gamble
and having the question of where is ur bf? and if you have a bf the question will move on to when getting married? then proceeding to married how come no kids yet??
the time we hv extra moolah

i have no other plans on card yet
not solid enough yet other than visiting the family relatives
as for my cliques maybe movie, chilling ??
shall see how

i re-read the article : Life and how to survive it again
and without fail it gives me a whole different kind of insight everytime i read them

im ending internship
im gona miss the ppl whom i work with
i guess i will take a little rest and look for another job
for more eye opening experiences

=======================================

+852
+861
misses~
your crap
and you

2009-01-20T16:24:00.002+08:00

the least i could do is to listen
and listen and listen and listen
till my eyes gets heavy
and the voice gets further n further away from me

get well soon sick pig

XD

2009-01-16T00:05:00.002+08:00

you wont know what you are missing out if u chose to hold tightly to what u thought was a safe guide
move out of the comfort zone n see out of the box
maybe there wouldnt be immediate answers
but have u forgotten when we are kids we always dream to become somebody
we all started out dreaming
so why ditch dreaming now?

i dream to fulfill the space reality couldnt satisfy me
i dream to rememeber what i seek for
i dream to wana go on a step more
therefore dream a little dream.....................................

hello there nice to meet you~

2009-01-13T21:35:00.005+08:00

Ok my blog went died for awhile
theres nothing i wana rattle about lately
theres things that i didnt wana openly share
theres things that i rather not bitch about
====================================

hmm i just feel the cold shoulders to alot of things

im just into 2 things :
Nouvelle Vague and exhibitions

his back~
XD

2009-01-05T07:05:00.006+08:00
I was excited upon seeing the email
yet i sighed.
what a wrong timing
this is the 2nd time im gona give that chance a miss
sinema sinema sinema
there goee giving a miss for the interview this coming friday
maybe a blessing in disguise
maybe something else will come along in time having giving this time yet another miss
maybe
if you dont know what is sinema go check it out
..tell me about it...argh

"It'll all work out" -(Tom Petty;American Singer1950s)

2008-12-31T01:13:00.002+08:00

2008 is gona be out of the damn door
looking back i had many moments
moments i held dear to heart i very much refuse to at all forget in time
moments like the hk..europe(norway,holland) and bangkok trip
moments like pull hair, sleepless night moments for graduation
moments like having known many new found friends
moments like time spent with the cliques
all this moments made up 2008
and in one day its all gona become what i call the yesterdays

everyone is asking whats my new year's resolution?
hmm im good as per what it is by far
and im hoping that it will be better if nt maintain as it is..
more better times with my cliques
smooth lot of stuff to the big grand graduation day

and perhaps
hmm love..?hahah to that i leave it to the man above
im fine as per what the status is ..

"Life is but a moment, death also is but another."-(Robert H.Schuller)
and there i have it my rightful moments

thank you guys for everything , and anything
may 2009 be what i wished during xmas
have love,laughter and everlasting health
and of cause always have urself a little something..anything

God bless the living earth

2008-12-28T19:12:00.013+08:00
Image heavy entry
I took ages to get it finally loaded
theres more in FB of cause
It was all good
Rather barely 4 days and 2008 is out of the door
hmm im thankful for the things ive gone thru, people ive known and for sure i've grown up in
some way or another
maybe when u start to grow older u just tend to feel more sentimetal and appreciative with
whats happening in ur life..not that in the past u dont but to me its something i very much
treasure even the more
Heres the picture from Boxing day and xmas eve

Polariod posioning

we did gift xchange and this is what i got

haniff-our Mr Photogenic
Cindy( Wei ming took this with the effect of the heni bottle thus we became glowing green )

Yo weiming in the house Yoo~

Hub

Merci my little way of saying thanks ~

my two favourite XD

This is one of the fav pic of the night bcoz everyone i heart is in it
well theres some missing like dit and faryz
LB~

Up next is Xmas eve at laurette and gerald's dome
heartwarming with the funy people, yummy food, our own in house DJ and whats party without the main dish -- Alcohol
I had fun..

shes Macy..
Alcohol feast~ewwwww

Indian Poker

Bff~

"Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses."
(Russell Wayne Barker)

2008-12-21T03:46:00.002+08:00

I was drawn to this song
when i was at HMV today
even through the earphone i had on
this song drew my attention

that pinched~

2008-12-20T00:58:00.006+08:00

To thank for,
The coming ends
To thank for,
Having been there
To thank for,
Having done that
To even thank for,
The pinched that lingered
its not gona stay on like its permanent, for at times its away for vacation

To thank
what i call yesterday in days to come

11+1 more days marks yesterdays

''Many deceive themselves, imagining they'll find happiness in change.-John Schaar''

2008-12-11T19:21:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was something i wouldnt wana in time forget

THE day when sleepless nights are made looking all worth while

pull hair moments made acceptable and the many tears and disappointed ive been thru this whole journey having to reach this very day

6 months of gg thru what i thought was not possible was made realistic

i couldnt add more descriptions to the moment i was drawing near the stage and having the loves with me to help me witness this very moment
My graduation~

i thought so that what if i couldnt hang on what if i lose not to the ppl but myself
then again i did it
i really appreciate all the well wishes, frm people whom isnt present with me
and of cause those that came
like my mum n sis
my cliques Alex, Gina, Adrian
and of cause hving been thru this whole journey not just for the 6 months
ppl whom from the very beginning was there n still there with me
thank you LB for everything
and like what we held on to closest to heart is ourselves
we didnt lose ourselves but instead we found ourselves even more in a clearer view
of cause nv forgetting the teammates of mine
its nv easy to work as a team but we made it
partings are indeed sad
but looking on another point some that left is gg to venture to on to some other places
we will meet again for sure

love ya
and of cause
bachelor of arts next
we can all do it
having done that and been thru that
the next would be just a replay
we look forward to yet another moments like that in a years time at the same old place with the few same old pple
aim to throw that "hat''..
more pictures sooooon

2008-12-09T02:31:00.001+08:00
1 more day to THE DAY
thank you for the long 6 months
thank you for having been through
thank you for having done that

in time when i do look back rather all the bad moments will be longed gone
and till then i will smile for the stuff i chose to remember..
that is people whom has been thru all this with me

i look forward to not the winning
but the heartfelt moments we will share
under the lights and among the crowd are not strangers but the close cliques and beloved
the shatter of the camera will go
and there i have it, to my addition of momento

Thank you~
other than that i have nothing else to relate it with

never mind about the you long gone
for things that will stay forever will..

2008-12-01T19:51:00.000+08:00
In fear we seek comfort to those around us
when one is gone what do we seek
condolences to the living beings left behind
We fear we wont remember anymore
we fear we wont feel the loss
we fear that we lose touch with how our heart ached

we fear when they say i dont remember you anymore ....

2008-11-30T22:49:00.000+08:00
One of the research on new york based designer , Betsey Johnson
Was Wow-ed by her dome
my god niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee
but yet again i cant imagine myself living in such a princessy place surrounded by pink pink and more pink, but its niceeeeeeeeeeeee

and look at those cupcakes
how crazy can ppl get over all those luxe
now even the cupcakes are nt spared
i love the Hermes n the Tiffany & Co and the whole bday cake one
hahahaa

its exactly 10 + 1 more
im soo planning for the aftermath
JB, Helipad, Xmas merrying, Count down, Besties bday, many coming up

Im happier
I hope

2008-11-26T01:30:00.000+08:00

My masterpiece

from makeup to hair to the shoot

soley doned by me

the satisfaction was not meant for words to describe

Only thru lens can i see another side of what the naked eyes couldnt see
that is when the heart matches the thoughts and dances with the eyes
my temporary escape from what reality is about

2008-11-25T00:25:00.002+08:00

i wish i could take my leave have my stand go my way and not bother that much as to how n what as of next
as much as i wanted to let go
stuff seems to keep pulling me back
even tears cant seem to work
even whining cant seem to make everything disappear and
even you being there cant help lessen the feeling
im soo dejected by what im facing
I was shouted back without any act of standing by me or any sort of defence
instead it was mere silence
now thats what hurts the most
where have all that like minded thoughts gone to when in the end i was being judge and u seem totally not in the picture
thank you for making me realise that trying really hard is just crap and bullshit
thank you for making me realise that what was told are just moments of folly
thank you again for making me feel yet again disappointed

"Intuition comes very close to clairvoyance; it appears to be the extrasensory perception of reality."

2008-11-20T18:51:00.000+08:00
i was left behind with no one on my side
i was heavy hearted like i no longer wana try anymore
utterly not comfortin nor could i contain the tears from rolling
goodbye~

2008-11-20T03:06:00.001+08:00
Where has all the unfairness ..all the disappointment and all the angered go to when u see what is facing u ??

2008-11-14T23:23:00.000+08:00
Nice right ??
if u think its a life size house u are totally wrong
its a dollhouse~~~
all of it is scaled down
I was fascinated
....
like WOW!!!

2008-11-14T02:21:00.002+08:00
Having said
Having done
Im not able to any longer know how to interpret..
Words seems that it has lost its way
Communication just seems to be like a one sided affair
me is just me
and u is just u
not the least the WE that i thought by trying there will be
no its still me

I no longer am taking it from there
............................................................................................
take a second to ponder
having said that
i give it up

i can hear how the hammer hits the nail

2008-11-04T21:54:00.001+08:00
Im contemplating Lipstick Jungle and Cashmere Mafia
cant wait for graduation to arrive and to be over..so that i can have some relax time to do stuff like just simply waking up, not stressing over assignments and just watch the shows i want
hmm reviews have them saying both are very much alike
well will see them and comment on that

By the way, the american election
OBAMA is the man
Salute!!!!

Everything is very much drawing near..
a little bit more people a little bit more

ive got an email yest and im gg on a mag interview
not gona reveal which
work is good the people is nice
and everything is fine

im content..
will post the photos for Adrian's bday soon
bck to the report

"nothing withstand changes"
Nothing~

2008-10-28T03:19:00.000+08:00
Truth be told?
naive..
without doubt your inner child will always tell you or chose to tell u things u want out to be..

I feel insecure with the upcoming stuff..
I feel the fear current swiping my way
I dont know why
can i really let go and trust the end result?
I have fear in me..
my heart pinched like its telling me im in for the decision i made
to not depend on what i usually should do..

im at loss of grip and words
and i feel really frustrated bcoz at this phrase i only can handle so much and seriously im on the verge of drowning
and i feel like im fighting this result alone..
those fear made me shivered..

God oh god pls i beg of u to hear me out
pls make me stand on just a fair bit more
its nearing the end
im only shouting out to you bcoz i only can turn to u for strength and to overcome the fear in me

I dont know anymore if theres more i hv to say
i only can do this much and already so much is left off me
im tired, world
and if crying does help
by all means...

Amen~

2008-10-27T01:19:00.001+08:00
So the photoshoot is tiring
my god
but its finally done
YAYness!
now thats left is just what i call adding magic to the photos
as the end result is nearing
it also marks a tint of sadness in me
people afterall go their separate ways and venture out in different aspect in life..
but then again close clique of ppl you held dear will always be there when needed no matter what
im sure the people ive known so far will..=)
some photos taken while having a break off the shoot
photos that add to the collection we in time call memento...

~"True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions."~
there was this once i remembered every word you said
you are going to be there ..
be there in 2 months time..
but you are longed gone..
so are the words, the voice and your sight..
I wish you. love .

2008-10-26T00:43:00.002+08:00

I have so many stuff in hand that i wana cross out quickly
textile, styles & trend, internship, FMP
i just wana cross them out like once n for all
I seriously asked lots of questions as to what next?
ive got people telling me that sometimes its not about the extra cert or how high your qualification is
but perhaps the very chance at the moment of time
I thought of my next step after the graduation the degree that takes place for another year
and then after what next..
contemplate masters in a few years later but firstly and realistic as it is perhaps
i have to start working to struck the balance of gaining some working experience
i always wana make studying overseas come true.. to be away from home for a few year..
but lately from small talks with friends they told me about looking at things on a more solid ground, on where we all stand..

im contemplating my dreams but i know at the back of my mind that every differenet point of time there will be somewhat choices u hv to take there and then

ive learnt that there will never be such a thing that says for the very sake or because i was told or even the most STUPID ive seen bcoz my friend say this n this therefore im doing it

you had the time of your life to make lots of things matter..
but many a times in between that time of your life there are unexpected chances for u to decide what to do as to next..
perhaps to make it wise is to depends on that very moment and that includes the needs the timing and of course a decision that leave a something in the entire time of your life

i hv so many things i wana take up

like:

Driving ( which yes, im seriously considering after all the voices telling me i should )

Photography ( which is something im really keen of )

Graphics ( bcoz its gona be a great help if i know how to execute them rather then only able to convey my ideas but not able to do it hands on myself )

Design ( Yes yes )
other than that a 3rd language ...

but to that, i must of cause set piorities and segment it to struck a balance.
side note :
I JUST CANT STAND PEOPLE WHO ONLY GO ABOUT WANTING THIS BRANDED BAG,THAT BRANDED SHOE..BUT NOT EVEN KNOWING IF THEY ARE ABLE TO CARRY THAT LOOK..*roll eyes* have they truly appreciated what the designer is truly wanting to convey..?-my 2 cent worth of comment-
Dont be what you are not, no matter how you change ur appearance, ur look, ur dressing style, under all that you are just you and people will see thru it no matter what..

2 more months and its 2009
God Bless the world, the economy and the mankind

i need a new phone and a watch..

2008-10-21T00:44:00.000+08:00
how can someone say i love you very much
and it can be that very person that says I dont love you anymore
cruel isnt it
how can that very heart change ?
how can that very feeling disappear?

seasons change
time change
heart change

i dont get it anymore
and i dont wana get it
...
but i just feel really sad about people around me on how simply they said they dont love the previous and at the next moment found someone new
then how does u separate that love from the other love?

sadly..and of course cruelly
its never that simple
but many a times people dont look things clearer before going to it
..........

the above has nothing with me involved..
its just a heartfelt of the recent happenings around me
leaving me pondering and glad that i always am sure i can nv jump into another "FEELING"
in such a short time...

im seriously tired and just today
i really questioned myself if all this gg the extra miles might in the end
led me to what i should be or wanted
im starting to have doubt
.........................
"If you add a little to a little, and then do it again, soon that little shall be much."-Hesiod

2008-10-16T03:04:00.001+08:00

Its almost coming to an end

an end that we see the harvest
an end we see how we well spent the sleepless hours on
an end to the old phrase and go on with what was like a ticket to what continues then after
..
but a tiny fair bit more before i can use a marker to dot a full stop
i almost couldnt hang on
soo many confusion
soo many how
soo many question marks
soo many i dont know how to anymore
soo many
that i just wanted to operate my brain and remove what shouldnt be there..
I no longer think with my mind
but instead i reshifted the word around
by thinking with the heart
and feeling with the mind

My mind just collapsed
n my heart just sank
====================================
On the lighter note
grad photo
the not so conventional way

and this is how we fool around
gone are the yesterdays
maybe tomorrow's left with a memento scene like that..

2008-10-13T00:47:00.001+08:00
Helipad-ED on a sat night
the re-live of liquid room
love the whole place
the ambience,the music
as for the crowd..
well it wasnt that pack so there is still some reservations to what sort of crowd they are
hopefully the next time..

Entrance of Heli..

The interior

my threesome other 2

Mumm Champagne

those shot is such a killer....
that caused memory loss
argh hate it
and this is my very first n last time am gg to be that wasted

thanks to my threesome other 2 for taking cre of me
=)
wana go heli-ing and perhaps try out supper club soon
=============================================
hmmmmmmmmm
im half hanging
and i seriously have no idea as to how..

just the other day i saw traces in him..
just the other day

2008-10-08T00:22:00.003+08:00

not just good looks but owns a great photography skill
....
never fails to make me wana travel to lots more countries everytime i look at all his pictures..
life is all about experiencing the different side of the world..
every inch of it
all you hv to bring along perhaps is just a heart
a heart that appericates
an eye to see
and a listening ears to hear how it sings
life~
Wants and needs start to come together
have u considered not putting those "luxury" stuff before hand
have u forgotten what was it like to just smile simply when presented with a candy or balloon?
dont say you want life simple
for you made ur stand on what u want ur standard of simplicity is
with all the mindwash of all the.LV.Gucci.
have you forgotten how u actually smile?
the smile deep from within..
have u long forgotten??
-a 2 cent worth of thought
you dont actually have to agree

2008-10-04T19:14:00.000+08:00
Picture overflow entry
Usual hangout place with the usual clique plus new friends

Suspect 1-Adrian..

Suspect 2- Haniff (does the girl in white remind u of someone? well she's dit's younger sister )

Suspect 3- Dita, Suspect 4- Linus

Suspect 5- Gina

Whose this? our queen's couture model cum New face finalist- cheryl
New known friends.. lawernce ( does he look familiar? his the macdonald advertisement guy with the huge hand)
God, his complexion is damn good can..and his damn fair
ok la when i took this picture with him before me was adrian n gina
just so to compare how colour difference are we to him
but guess im still almost the same as him
whahaha

magdelene n cindy..(funny ppl)
oh and another one is weiming
doesnt have the photo we took together bcoz he hasnt loaded in facebook yet

A near perfect night if not for some spoiler
but well glad to see soo many people after soo long
haiz too bad LB missed it yet again
pls do make it the next time
which would be either to cele adrian's bday cum a mini farewell for them b4 they fly to taiwan
=================================================================
Thailand was overall good
but somewhat bcoz of the "business"
i always end up really tired at the end of the day
after all the countless of walking...and adding up to the hot humid weather
by the time im back to the hotel im really drained out

The Night view of land of budhha

lots of such statues commonly seen ard thailand

vendors..

vendors..

some mini donut store in Chatucak

Central world, Bangkok's largest shopping mall

BIG lifesize heineken

sticky rice with mango (din try it though)

2nd day out sourcing

A&W revisit

I call it the thailand wala wala

whats liveband loving without my stella artois

hot humid weather..shagged out face hidden under the shades

Popsticle

Dinner during day 1

statues in front of great eastern hotel

Tuk Tuk

i have a fetish for old school arm chair and standing lamp

love this shot, taken in the cab
on the way back home

more pictures are loaded up at facebook
those are just some random ones i extract

3months~
am so waiting

missed the lemongrass

and the whole place

wana of cause go back soon

for i havent got enough of chatucak just yet

2008-10-03T16:20:00.000+08:00
And Perhaps looking at things with your eyes might bring blurry vision
that might just do one good in some way
not to be totally clear
you dont need alot of why to fill up the questions
and you dont need the questions to answer
afterall we are just fools to what we chose to hear,say,see and most of the time to deny
how far off does people submit to truth be told ?
how far off does people admit and long know the answers?
many a times its within you
many a times its you whom decieve the inner you
and of course many a times
its the same you to reason out what you have decided and chosen to do

so its all about you,the denial and how u live on to it
and not the questions asked and the answers told

back from the land of smile
will do a entry abt it the next time round
be contented
be merry happy
and of course my new quote
Be random blissed~

2008-09-27T20:13:00.000+08:00
Departure Gate
ready
Jetset
Go
Land of Buddha

God Bless
and c ya when im back

many love and misses

2008-09-26T20:27:00.001+08:00

Yes yes its F1..

i can hear the roaring sound of the cars speeding pass
its really G.R.E.A.T!!!
but at the same time how much inconvinence it caused to those staying around the race area
and yes yes everyone is crazy over Lewis Hamilton
=======================================================

never once was i this last minute
I cant believe that im going out of town without a place to stay
I can never imgaine if its the case what was i to do
sleep in the airport?
whatever it is its settled
ITS THE FCUKING FIRST N THE VERY LAST TIME
i was even on a verge to just call it all off
no one can ever understand that pressure
not even YOU!
i really wonder if u ever was panicky that there are chances that there wouldnt be a place to stay
but whatever it is
i really strongly stood to always depending on oneself
thank you harrod, trisha and aunt livia for trying soooo hard to help me with this last minute situation
a big thank you that when u guys are busy working you still are keeping a look out
as for how unhappy i was
seriously doesnt matter anymore

im really sorry that i didnt have a choice to rather i rephrase it i DONT HAVE A CHOICE
i seriously wasnt willing to pay a fcuking 300 for hotel
and i seriously will never do such last mintue stuff
seriously i can only make up by make the balanced money worth
seriously!!

2008-09-25T01:43:00.000+08:00

Why Do People Come Back Out Of The Blue Into Your Life And Thinks Its Perfectly Fine?
No its not.
When you choose to be out and when your back was turned it should have stayed the very way..
but anyway i shall play along n see whats up ur sleeve..

Glad that LB is working hard on her intern..
hmm i was kinda feeling a waste when sherna called that day to tell me abt the offer
but well i lose it but if LB gained its fine for me as well
theres always chances in time
so im fine with it
anyway, I know what you mean girl..
just as what i say the prime now is ur intern, ur FMP so forcus ur light
u dont need to be as explaining in making ppl understand for it never totally will
leave it as it is

like i say when 1 + 1 no longer = 2 but a -2
your many calculations will still be the same
so rather perhaps
its already a"sign"
issues.time.feelings.
all that will iron out the way it want out to be
so let it be

"Truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but, in the end, there it is"- Sir winston churchill

like the balloons let it fly~

2008-09-24T09:38:00.005+08:00

Having the week term break
but no less fulfilling internship is still in process
but the thought of jet setting off to the land of buddha just make my mood all frisky.
I have been dreaming about it since forever
am thankful that thru sudden discussion n agreement im jet setting off this sat..
will even if its work im happy enough for what linus say ur job is the most fun la, Sourcing=shopping..yaa perhaps it is

Thank you for the kind sponsors people
well put 200percent into getting the stuff back
I just hope to finish Internship soon
and i just wana push the fast forward button to finish degree
but still im rather thankful for the goings so far
everything had been good
going out of the country more than once this year is already a double bonus
plus the whole lot of new found friends
im simply not asking for more and im contented

Im just asking a little weeny bit more is to get the satisfield result at the end of the day to give me a morale boost
making me believe that working the extra mile indeed benefits myself

Im glad i chose to be more earnest n honest to oneself that by not condoning might perhaps benefit both parties
at least I know i made my stand clear

anyway have a great week
and im sure everyone is lookin forward to F1
which im glad im out of town
as it has been causing rather a mess on my bus route as my usual bus will have a few detours which is just somewhat inconvenient for me
but im proud to say that we are capable of putting up such a great spectular stand in such a short time..
(though im cursing for the troublesome part of walking such a far distance to take bus)

have fun people
and god bless

" I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters." -Oprah Winfrey
PS(sometimes i wonder if there will be such a day where the yesterdays will happen again?sometimes i wonder if people will remember you for how long when you are out of their lives? and sometimes i wonder what kind of a person they see me as in their lives?sometimes i wonder...)

2008-09-21T00:49:00.001+08:00

WineBar-Ed with the clique clang kiang
Alex was soo funny the whole night with his "8 yr old" story that created stares from the tables beside us

Im just glad i went..for lately im really on the verge of breaking down totally..
but anyway im really am done-D with being the " all nice about it " attitude
i wasnt left with a choice, i was forced to the wall.
perhaps we do not have common interest in what we want our end result to be
perhaps you just thought u did ur part
but i rather say its just pointless and of no help for the stuff you did just wasnt so called what we called " with heart"
but rather DOING FOR THE SAKE OF DOING
i really dislike cats n its without doubt for no reason
they have the weirdest attitude, eerie personality
that when u get too close to them
it will send chill down your spine
anyway, im just going about what is within the stuff in my fingers..
im not safekeeping anyone for everyone should be safekeeping themselves
one day i might just say i wana take the backseat
for i have every right to say i did more that what i was suppose to do
and i deserve the right to just seat back and relax

"If you don't want to do something, one excuse is as good as another."- Yiddish Proverb

anyway, LB pls remember what i mentioned
its all about deserving or not
and not about chances
we are not saint
and i guess we should be kinder to oneself more than giving grace to others..
P.S(pls make it for the next outing, coz it seems that we are losing the days of fun times along with the rest which is really sad )

2008-09-17T02:19:00.003+08:00

Anixiety has found me lately that peace seems to exit and is keeping a distance
I was fed up with myself.
Tired, but still tow on as there is just so much more to finish up..
Tears seems to visit me alot more often than usual and have been keeping me company
Particuarly as i dont know what to say anymore or to deal with it anymore.
There is always a time for chances and faith
but the very same there is disappintments and regrets.
Now thank you for making me realise that one should not harbour too much faith and chances in the hope of trying to do a deed or being perfectly nice about it.

Yesterday once more?
not any..
Farewell Goodie Two Shoe

Im tired of hearing sorry
worthless as it seems to me lately..

"You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind. Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are.- Edgar A. Guest"

2008-09-11T23:50:00.002+08:00
I have a fetish for maxi dresses
but bcoz of my skinny frame most maxi dress are of strapless
but today i happen to find one that kinda suit me.

was having in mind of getting it for my graduation..
hmm shall keep it in mind and look around first...
伯樂
誰才是你愛情中的伯樂?
"The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were."-John F.Kennedy
Happy Friday
Joyful weekend
Ellijah Lucas, I likeeeeee ~

2008-09-09T02:47:00.000+08:00
I've been tearing alot lately
to the songs ive heard
to the shows ive seen
to the stuff i was told
...........................

I almost died on this fateful sunday
i hate to be sick.
...............................

this weekend is occupied.
6 course dinner on sat
grandma's bday on sun
Sunday Night to NUM..im still thinking
if only im able to fully recover..
Adrian's msg : waiting for u to lao hu!
hahaha

happy week people~

"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives."- Sidney Madwed

2008-09-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

Dine-D at Kim Gary Vivo
Cafe Bumming At West Coast
I so need it after a week of work
totally drained

Orea Cake~

Little thing called wonder..

AGNES B CHOCS from HK
=LOVE=
Guess whats this ?
its written on the top of the tissue holder
i find it applying on some aspect too
"Please Take Only What You Need"

clicking out
time to start on the product mix
argh!!!!!

2008-09-05T02:08:00.002+08:00
Movies i wana watch when i have time...

all the above are past movies
that i will dig out to watch soon when i find them

the very first show i damn wana watch is :

AWAY FROM HER
Storyline:
Married for 50 years, Grant (Gordon Pinsent) and Fiona's (Julie Christie) life together is full of tenderness and humour, their serenity broken only by Fiona's restrained references to the past, complicated further by her increasingly evident memory loss. Moving Fiona into a nursing home specializing in Alzheimer's disease, Grant is not allowed to visit for the first month so she can "adjust". When he sees her again, Fiona has forgotten him and turned her affection to Aubrey (Michael Murphy), another resident in the home. Heartbroken, Grant visits daily, bearing witness to the growing bond between her and Aubrey. When Aubrey's wife, Marian (Olympia Dukakis), takes Aubrey home, Fiona becomes deeply depressed, and Grant embarks on the greatest act of self-sacrifice of his life
"sometimes you have to let go of what you cant live without"
COMING SOON!!!!
adding to the list is : The soloist, Marley & Me
( which poster shots are not out yet )
theres more..
but for now its these few i wana watch

Solemn thoughts

2008-09-05T01:24:00.001+08:00

Marie Digby
"Miss Invisible"
Theres a girl
Who sits under the bleachers
Just another day eating alone
And though she smiles
There is something she's hiding
And she cant find a way to relate
She just goes unnoticed
As the crowd passes by
And she'll pretend to be busy
When inside she just wants to cry
She'll say...

Chorus

Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her her name

In the beginning, in the first weeks of class
She did everything to try and fit in
But the others they couldnt seem to get past all the things that mismatched on the surface
And she would close her eyes when they laughed and she fell down the stairs
And the more that they joked
And the more that they screamed
She retreated to where she is now
And she'll sing...

Chorus

Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take a little look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day that you will ask her...her name

And one day just the same as the last
Just the days spent in counting the time
Came a boy who sat under the bleachers just a little bit further behind...
<3
"In 3 words, I can sum up everything I've learnt about life:it goes on"- Robert Frost
~if you know what i mean~
happy weekend~

2008-09-04T00:55:00.005+08:00
Work was pretty much fine
the people there are nice basically
my post according to Mr Harrod is called Assistant Designer
but im not framing myself with that name rather i keep it as "Assisting THE designer"
Those 2 days i have been kept busy with sorting of fabrics making sure the whole box is scanned and amending the size to keep it standardized and neat

then i have to look thru tons of magazines in search of fall/winter 0809 print ads from various brands and at the same time do up the course schedules in visual forms.
why am i doing all that? for what purpose u might ask..
well basically all the above stuff ive done will be placed on a TV screen just right at the door of our office..
( will show the surrounding of the office soon )
its kinda stress free so far bcoz i do not really have datelines in submitting the work in hand

but ive already finished doing up the schedule and half way thru the print ads..
u must be thinking..paying soo little why do so much?

well bcoz i wana see what i will be given next and also it will help in gaining more exposure, the more hands on you are the better and the more stuff you are exposed to the better, i don wan to do a 320 hours internship learning nothing out of the company,
im exchanging my peanut pay for the things i will learn at the end of the day
one good thing about it is i get to see updated magazine for free
and i mean those magazine that we wont usually bare to spend on like 9.90 for an in style mag, or 10bucks for a GQ mag.. i can read it all for free..

hahhaa call me cheapskate but a good 10 bucks could be well spend on some other stuff
anyway i made up my mind to work 4 full days a week hoping to earn about 90bucks..
so 4 weeks is ard 360plus *pout*
but if i learnt something out of it at the end of the day then fine with the pay..
its internship anyway..
and i did seriously considered continuing after the 32ohours, but that is IF my schedule for school is flexible.
hmm shall seee in time...

My work desk..
notice the starbucks paper cup, well we have free flow of 3 in 1 coffees, tea, milo, cereal, even biscuits....hahahhahaha

Thats the life of 2 working days so far
will update more stuff about work soon..

on the side track my ache is becoming really constant lately and each time its getting more n more intolerable..
yet im not prepared to find out the course..
and and and Im having a fetish lately...
hahahhaaaaa hahahahahahaa

I wana do soo many things in between working days and doing FMP
like going to Helipad..
like attending a friend's bday which is soon..( still havent replied my attendance )
like the NUM fashion show on the 14th..
like going to JB for seafood
like meeting up with my different cliques..like Jodi,Jo mama(whom is pregnant now..hee), celine and family,Jess, Gina, Adrian and the guys..
like going to zouk and butter
like more movie loving, cafe sitting
and of course
LIKE BANGKOK SHOPPING!!!!!!!!

Im trying to make the best outta of time
and hopefully im able to slot them in between here n there
but of course i clearly know my piorities now
is to finish internship.. work on FMP... and try to filter all stuff and lessen the load by next module
for next module is just so screwed with the rescheduled of Styles & Trend, Textile and FMP and yaa internship!!!
but well im sure i can do it..
the workaholic me..
=)

PS( LB, im praying for u.. god will reply u very soon, so wait a little bit more k)

oh ya, i really am addicted to this,

Have been eating this for 2 days..hehehheheheeeeeeeeeeeee fish and chip
but don expect alot its only 2.20 after all
but i like..

its THURS
1 day to TGIF
and i confess i havent work on the product mix yet
for im really tired when i get home plus the constant ache..
will get them started by thur and done by sun and weekend is FMP day again..
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

no doubt i still love how things turned out and i still think 2008 is treating me kindly so far.(never mind the bums here n there)
thank god!

" In truth, man is not made to be trusted for life if secured against all liability to account. "-Thomas Jefferson to A. Coray, 1823

The title"my tiger my heart'' by the boys least likely to, brought back some yesterdays..

2008-09-01T03:07:00.000+08:00
Well have been hearing about this place lately
will go by soon
Wee~
having the need to dress up to the nines
a breathtaking view
just the right place to sip your glass of wine
and the wind blowing by
looking on as the world go by
only for the beautiful people

Helipad
thats what we are talking about..

2008-09-01T02:40:00.001+08:00
So sat was spent dining at Kim Gary at vivo then off to town to watch movie
was choosing between wall-e, and mad about english
but movie tickets were sold out and the next time slot was just too late
((really can never catch a movie during weekend, tickets are always damn fast selling and it can never be a last min thing to do.. else u will never end up watching the show that u want))
and in the end , we bought a 12am show watching Boy Over Flowers,Final
well the show wast that bad i must say.
so before the show, there was still time therefore we end up at spinelli

Midnight meat train is the show i wana catch next
and i just cant wait to go for the 6 course dinner this week

well working later right after school
may everything be fine

happy monday loves~

2008-08-31T03:57:00.004+08:00
Life was indeed kind lately..

choices,
chances,
answers,
decisions
you had the time of your life to go about seeking and realising them
but many a times, we all know that deep down we always have the ugliest fact/truth long ago but not wanting the very bit to face it
instead we chose to make out what we want out to be and thought out to be the best

I believe in regrets for they make me grow a fair bit more to being truthful to oneself n to others
I believe in not seeking whats left off me for perhaps the other someone might have been going thru a hard time before deciding on it
I believe that one day the answers that one seek will surface in any form
most importantly, i believe in believing..
and i gave my heart each n everytime

i stood to not making exceptions
i stood to being untruthful to the world
for i stood by my very own inner child..

I dont see life as being unfair
for at least god is fair to everyone
u gained some
u lose some

dont ask for simplicity
dont seek simple life
for S.I.M.P.L.E is just letters pieced together
when they are standing soley they are nothing
therefore
piece ur life the way u want it and build simplicity the way you defined it

I had mine
as life to me is afterall kind~

i sing to bittersweet melodies
i sway to the voice in me
and of cause i toast to living the now and holding my appreciations close in hand

i loathe rainbows
and backviews
i loathe how it drifts further and then blurred till its no longer in sight
i loathe how it made you harboured hope but drenching them in the end

how are u these days?

2008-08-29T23:37:00.003+08:00

Am thinking of changing my outdated useless nokia 7390
which kept dying on me several times...
i put into consideration the above few
if am not wrong the sony ericssion one has Wifi
and so far the one that i really liked alot
second to it would be the motorala one...
hmm but i still have to wait till decemeber till my plan is due for upgrading
argh!! i still have to deal with this kuku phone for a few months more...

TGIF~
but sadly im still struggling with work in hand
booooooooo~

Abraham Lincoln -"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time."

2008-08-28T16:13:00.007+08:00
As promised Ive decided to go down to butter to give support to my DJ friend
(after the longest time having him inviting)
AND it is our VIRGIN trip to butter, yes yes call us mountain tortoise *roll eyes*
But before that me n jo canele-Ed
and i really like the place
didnt really try their food yet only had coffee and sandwich

our feet while waiting for our personal bouncer of the night to fetch us

So here we are, BUTTER FACTORY

The entrance

Notice the interior, its damn cute..
and i cant believe that when i see it FMP immediately came to my mind
ARGH!!
but well at least when having fun i manage to find some stuff contributing to work
hahaha

Even though i really like butter but afterall RnB is never my kind of thing
so we headed off to coffee club at clark quay around 1-nish for supper.

Then again while flipping thru the mag (which is supposed to be for pleasure and leisure)
I started snapping photos bcoz it is AGAIN related to work
ARGH x2

When im with them we are always having endless of things to talk about
from girls stuff to guys stuff
to movies to relationships to bitching about the people over at the next table is carrying Bonia bags when they are not even old..
But no matter what im just thankful i had them
=)
and styles and trend is rescheduled to next term
GREAT!!
the school is sooo screwed up
seriously
grrrrrrrrrrr

laters
now back to work

"Sometimes it seems things go by too quickly. We are so busy watching out for whats just ahead of us that we dont take the time to enjoy where we are"

2008-08-26T22:20:00.012+08:00
Was browsing for informations for "look book"
really am fascinated about the way the europeans dressed
if only half of the people here bothered to dress up
Style
Fashion
Trend
to me its just an understatement
individuality, personality plus the garment
adds to what i call style, fashion and trend

SILK printed pants and metallic shoe
it gives me the thought of showing the balance of the soft yet manly side of him

These few looks below are my personal favourite

In today's fashion theres no wrong or right or the saying of whether its color contrasted
every colours and prints will somewhat go together
just depending on the degree of how u place them together
my focal point is nt the shocking stockings
but the lady and the kid behind

by the way i really love AGYNESS
one whom is very versatille in her dressings
going from flamboyant to feminine
she would somewhat look really fabulous in whatever she wore

Im starting internship on monday
thank you for answering my prayers
may everything just turn out fine
Choose life
Choose choices
Choose destintive answers
~many love~

2008-08-25T23:41:00.013+08:00
YAY! new outlook for my blog
all thanks to dearest LB
Big Fat Thank YOU!!
=)

Anyway a review of last week..
Did merchandise and VM sourcing for FMP
LB n I spent a full 8hours in Ikea..
but im sure after what was presented to our lecturer today
that 8 hours was worth it
she is kind of aware of what we are trying to bring out in our VM
even though the concept is still kinda "raw" therefore we still need to do lots more research..
as for the merchandise mix
there is also a clear direction of how we are going towards
therefore im thankful up to date everything is gg on fine
hopefully things will maintain and still be kept in control

I was harsh with my words,
but i didnt think it was coming from a bad intention.

so anyway, thur was Ikea
and Fri is off to the airport for dinner..
Popeye-D
and the usual complete set would be an after coffee
thats life to me
plus not forgetting the gd company, the picture takings and of cause the hearty heart talk
=)
The friday really helped in taking all the stress and worn out feeling in me and recharged me with calmness..
and so saturday was meet up day for FMP again..
then after was working on the assignments..
life is research,FMP,research,FMP
but im thankful in between thats little sweet surrenders to make me re seek back calmness so as to move on...

lately i perfer to look at lots of things in a perspective:
"a glass half filled "
i dont seek as to questioning myself or others whether its half drank or half filled
perhaps afterall the answers might no longer mattered..

ok shall post the pictures from Ikea and the Airport

oh by the way, i have got an accidental reply today
God bless melissa~
and not forgetting all the loves
its tuesday..
hmm im still considering about the wed night
hmm hmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
hopefully i can finish work to attend..
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
sooo crossing my fingers
and i have been rejecting it for the longest time
Argh!!
i so dont mean it

2008-08-21T00:16:00.007+08:00
Heavy hearted ...

People would think thats life
handle it
But I dare say i have being really earnest and nice about it everytime i hv such nonsense simply by condoning it
which unseemly the more now they dont at all should deserve it longer

Why should I be working extra hard go the extra miles and making it as perfect as ever
when at the end result they got the same treatment or even got the bigger share of pie
im not competing im just asking what should be deserving and what should be rightful to what u hv done
Im not one that could just sit by and depend everything on luck
i only can achieve what i want thru hard work n more hard work

someone once told me before
choose between nice n bitchy..
i chose the first n he told me :
"girl, to survive in ur industry, u will be soo done-D if u go around being nice
its not wrong to be nice but in moderation n when u know its worth
or else you will never go far.. "
i always didnt tot much of it bcoz i always believe in treating ppl from the heart n when u give sincerity and trying hard to make them understand and reason out to them, in hope to making them understand why..
but everytime i was this disappointed..

Forge ignorance..
Pissed..
but all these while i condoned it
giving chance again n again
how many times can u talk urself into
or trying to find an excuse to tell urself, that person is doing someting
but the cruel fact is ur eyes told you that its not the case

No more of such from now on..
i DID NOT change
but im just doing what i think should
and rightfully should deserve..
to that particular.. im sorry
learn to feel with the heart first as to if u had put in the very effect
or u are just as always taking and accepting what people gave
and not at all even the very bit making it a point to start giving..

I asked for nothing when i did my best to help as much as i could
if theres anything i ever asked
it would only be when are given the task put in the very effect to get it done
n thats good enough for me
even if it meant me doing a fair bit more i really don mind but NOW its too late

u cover ur own back bcoz if u dont u will never truly grow up
and learn from it

you asked if i was fine.
i am
bcoz ive looked beyond it
i did within my means
and to help those i think deserved it
but all this time
my heart is crying
bcoz i don wana shed any tears
when i got the end result
i dont hope for something that i could hv prevented then..

to LB, ( if you are reading this)

I no longer have anymore to say even though there is
bcoz i don think u deserve me venting the unhappiness to
so i wont say anything anymore
bcoz many a times truth is told by eyes
..

I hope u wont take long to realise it
bcoz i don wan u to be like me
to convince urself again n again
n finally feel the impact of how the heart hurts..
bcoz i have told u how i felt so i don want u to go thru that
U dont need to give way like i say
bcoz we did no wrong
rememeber that!
and im always here to back u up
that i promise
if u cant be the bad face afterall
i will do it

Lullaby no more, for i chose the ugly truth

2008-08-17T06:16:00.006+08:00
My heart just totally sank
and utterly was disappointed.

I seriously dont like being a bitch, the bad person,
and even till the worst a paranoid person.
Time and again i really wondered whats in the head of u people
time and again i really am soo wishing your would really be by now having the heart to be into the situation.
but sadly i see none..
you do when u are told what to, but didnt even bother asking
AND even expect intructions to do it the right way.
Look, i dont owe this stuff myself or u guys any tasks to keep giving u the direction n pushing and chasing for stuff
Cant u by now see that we are really in deep miles away by what we should actually be doing n not just the foundation of it.
How can i actually make ur feel that we seriously need to head somewhere
or else in time we seriously will just panick our feet off
..
I was angered not for no reason
tell me if im wrong..

1) Ask urself if u did enough, Im not even asking u to do extra im just asking u to fulfill n submit whatever by dateline is that too demanding?
and the dateline is not just for fun i did so bcoz i did put into consideration that if i put it on the day before monday if theres amendment we r unable to do it on time.
..and that meant presenting the wrong stuff and then we hv to go thru another week in amending it before we can move on..is that what we all want to keep running in circles..?
my dateline isnt given a day before the due date, it was 4 days before
if there was a problem or some difficulty did u guys even bother asking for help or to bother finding a solution.. or even communicate..
Ive got nothing from any of u guys..asking for help
Im not a nanny or a babysitter so dont expect people to give u directions and instruction, it is also ur job to ASK!!!
DONT MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU ARE NOT INVOLVED AND ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS!
its not mine too, for all i care i could just jolly well do my part and not even bother..
2) im human too i know we need time off, if u know for example u are planning to go out, isnt it logically to finish your part get it sent ? and not find all sorts of excuses as of why u cant do it on time..
We all have a life but i dont see why you cant do it..
Dont tell me you are busier than the ppl who are working but able to juggle and try their best to do their part even if it might not be perfect..
3) when u did ur part, did u actually even bother to do ur very best n minimise the errors so that the person Compiling it would have an easier job, why that dateline is also bcoz the person compiling will need time to arrange n do amendment too..
put yourself in the person's shoe, they might not need to do that but when they do all they ask of u is to give them minimal errors, if u give ur part just for the sake of it and in the end the person amends a huge part of it , is it right to say the marks n credit should go to that person?
by then don blame anyone for claiming the credit bcoz u didnt deserve it..
Im not saying my work is perfect, thats why i did ASk if theres anything i missed out..
DID I not?
4) Im not arguing or pissed for no valid reason, bcoz im not mad in the head and i already know what could happen in time
like next module will be a harder time to juggle and as most would be occupied wif internship n there will even be harder to not fulfill task in time thats WHY IM SOO PRECIOUSLY HOLDING ON TO THIS MONTH to clear whatever the foundation n get into all the head of yours what u are doing...
so that when we are in next term hopefully would be less tense..
but too bad kisss that thought away bcoz its hard work al the way frm now onwards bcoz we wasted enough...
5) When we set a day for meetings, isnt it logical that it might take a while to finish, it might mean doing whatever, unlike other groups we are really not meeting alot together..and everytime theres ppl missing.. is that alot to ask for to give that timeslot out and nt do other stuff or come for the meeting and is nt prepared to give updates, or even bother to do abit on ur part to reasearch some stuff and just sitting down there simply clueless.
if we are so wasting ur time Im sorry.. for making u tink its such a waste of time to meet everytime but aimlessly, WHY?bcoz on ur part did u even go home to think of ways or even try to lighten or give quality help?
Why should i bother n squeeze my brain juice on what next how next when u ppl just feel the meeting is pointless and draggy and waste of time..

I Offically declare im on the FUCK care mode
i will do what is within my need my part and ppl deserving my help..
other then that im DONED with covering unnessary asses ...
screwed up, panick?
ton loads in time...
get used to it

Nobody is undispensable to anybody..
Whats left of an angels are afterall pathetic smiles that in time become disappointment..

IM DONED!!
and I SO MEAN IT
with captial letter

Dislike?hatred?
well when you are finally tolerating and tolerating and convincing n convincing urself to give trust that it will iron out
what overcomed you was the huge sank in the heart
that you just burst into tears
bcoz you can do so much n this much..
and if those harsh words hurt..
have u even sit down n place ur hand at where ur heart is to feel how it beats
mine beats the same way too
but it just sank.deep under

2008-08-15T16:02:00.005+08:00
So Yesterday's school was good..
but what really frustrates me is the discussion over FMP, we just couldnt seem to come to a conclusion.damnit!
But anyway ,went home after school,
snooze abit before meeting D for Dinner and movie
we dined at Ding tai feng at paragon, and watched Pathology..
nice show
even though im nv a fan of gross show
but i just was keen in this one bcoz im sum what interested in seeing what a medical student is all about..

well the storyline was just about a grp of student committing crime
using medical ways as their knowledge to kill.
and perfectly as what they say to practise n make perfect their skill.

The leading actor is sucha charmer..
hahha the whole time i was telling D
his soo shuai
whahaa.

well on another note,i happend to charge upon an article written by adrian tan, the author who wrote "the teenage textbook"
it was actually a speech he gave at NTU i think
talkin abt Life and how to survive it.
I very much am aware that at a different point of time when i bring out his article to read again
my prespective of it would definitely be different
yesterday, i felt really strongly when i read the part abt education,
simply one sentance" your degree is a poor amour to fate", a simple sentance but it speaks soo much about it..
perhaps what i got out of the article was, afterall life dont exactly owe u an actual living but the very fact that its up to the person living that very life.
I thought to myself that if there are regrets of the past will I in time not repeat the same regret, to avoid the same mistake/act? my answer would be theres always a period to every state of mind to doing that act/that decision/that conclusion. In life if there isnt something that was worth that regret, would u at all ends even reminisince the past? and actually bother to rememeber and refuse to forget?
i chose to have a set of regrets in me..

I miss you sometimes..
another me that i seek
that seems to have ditch the other me.
perhaps i can never find you anymore.
is it really goodbye for good.?

P.S to LB:
Ask not by the mind
but thru the heart
perhaps the cruel fact about it is you hv longed know, but didnt wana face up to acknowledging the fact about it..you had the time of your life to do it
but after soo long of deceiving the other you are u earnestly satisfield?
Now Ponder~

Friday loves
God Bless~
*Damien Rice is loveeeeeeee by the way..=)

2008-08-13T13:55:00.006+08:00

Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
AM SO WAITING
and its getting on my nerves

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in the meantime
movie loving tmr..
with D
=)

time still passes like it doesnt very much care whether u are pretty much busy or very much in the process of living it to the livest
it doesnt give a god damn about it
so rather make fullest use of it
at the same time just waste away bits of it
u aint saint to be fulfilling time 24/7

im actually hoping for something but i just couldnt make out what it is

lately im missing the other side of the world

Im having a fetish lately for......

love,
peace,
calmness

2008-08-09T13:15:00.001+08:00
HAPPY BDAY SINGAPORE
HAPPY 24th BDAY big SisTER!!

YAYness
buzzing out later to hv a "mini celebration with the cliques
today i aint thinking anything about FMP
just for today..

Have fun
lotsa booze
and be just merrily happy
smiling plain sillyly

love~
<3

2008-08-08T01:00:00.004+08:00
Keeping the emotions on checked list

Manipulating the puppets

im totally on verge to strangling myself to stay mute..

2008-08-06T19:58:00.003+08:00

HOUSE OF HOLLAND..
BRIGHT CHEERY COLOURS
WITTY NO BRAINER SLOGAN
AND OF CAUSE NOT FORGETTING..

EYE CANDY DESIGNER BEHIND THE CREATION

2008-08-04T02:32:00.002+08:00
Today Did You-——————-
1. Talk to a boy/girl you like ?>> nope not really
2. Learn anything new?>> perhaps if you say how to be patient then lately Ive been learning alot about that.
3.Talked to an ex?>> no
4.Miss someone?>> rather miss a kind of a feeling
Last Person Who-————————
5.Laid in your bed?>> ME..
6. Made you cry?>> not anyone but myself
7. You went to the movies with?>> Dita and Gina-a week ago to catch wedding daze
8. Went to the mall with you?>>Jo and Gas
9. You showered with?>> me being naked?
10. Made you laugh?>> last call was from Alan, so Alan?
11. Hugged you?>> no one lately
General stuff-——————-
16. Favorite location?>> cafes
17.Tattoo?>> none but having in mind to get one soon
18. What are you most scared of this second ?>> that days will pass pointlessly and if my intern companies dont reply soon
19. Where do you want to get married?>> somewhere that has all my closed one with me
21. Does anyone like you?>> erm i dont know
22. Do you like being around people?>> yes if they are my usual cliques, strange big crowd not really
23.Have you ever cried?>> yaa
24. Are you lonely right now?>> not really im happy as per what it is now
25. Song stuck in your head?>> details of the fabric by jason mraz
26. Been on radio/TV?>> no and hopefully theres no need to
28. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?>> no , they are all fairly good
30. what color shirt are you wearing right now?>> a huge t shirt
31. Name three things that you do everyday?>> wash up, check my phone sms and switch on my laptop
32. How much cash do you have on you right now?>> $70plus
33. Are you bored?>> rather i say i cant sleep
35. Who got you to join Myspace?>> i dont have a myspace account
38. What web site do you visit the most?>> http://www.facebook.com/ ,my blog and some sites that can watch shows
39. Do you have plants in your room?>> nope
40. Who was the last person to hug you?>> no one
26 secrets-———————
1.WHAT IS YOUR DISPLAY NAME ABOUT?>> Melissa: Pick Up Sticks, i will shut up
2. WHERE WAS YOUR DEFAULT PICTURE TAKEN>> msn? pic taken at home b4 i head out
4.WHAT’S YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS?>> Single
5. HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WERE TO TELL YOU HOW THEY FELT, WOULD YOU LISTEN?>> Depends if his direct about it and not wishy washy till i lose my attention in listening
6. WHATS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?>> contented
7. WHATS YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSION?>> loved ones and good health
8. HOW ARE THINGS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?>> not seeing anyone at the moment
10. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, AND CHANGE SOMETHING WOULD YOU?>> Perhaps its best to leave it that way bcoz at that moment of time even if you were in that situation you would still be doing that same thing..it all depends on the moments
11. IF YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL FOR ONEDAY- WHAT WOULD YOU BE?>> a seagull
12. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE?>> noo
16. NAME SOMEONE WITH THE SAME B-DAY AS YOU?>> i don noe any
HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE?>> yaaa that is if u are in a pub which has those ktv thingy
18. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX ?>> dressing n the charming smile
19. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER FROM STARBUCKS?>> ice mocha with cream
20. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DRUNKEN WEEK?>> no
21. DO YOU STILL WATCH KIDDY MOVIES OR TV SHOWS?>> tv shows yes
23. NAME SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY?>> nothing happened mundane life and i prefer it that way
24. DO YOU SPEAK ANY OTHER LANGUAGE?>> chinese, dialect
25. IS THERE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND NOW?>> hmm no i guesss
26. WHAT HURTS YOU AT THE MOMENT >> perhaps the fact that his really gone.

There is actually more question but i don have the patient to answer

among the rest of the question below
i only aswered this:
Name for a son: Lucas (its in mind for the longest time i wana name my son that)
Name for a daugter: Glenda

2008-08-03T23:39:00.004+08:00
Think before you say
and not for the sake of saying or bcoz you are asked to

Dont make it look like you aint part of it

I dont owe this stuff anything
but why am i only panicking and making the call and everything
whereby im looking like a clown forcing ppl to do things
Ya whatever thats what it should be felt...

maybe i should just forget about it and leave it to you people doing the stuff and i will just do what i was given
if that makes the job easier
who doesnt want that
just tell me to my face i should just shut up
and i would

2008-07-31T06:06:00.004+08:00

Missing the other side of the world all of a great sudden
Dont ask me why
many a times theres no reasons as to why that heart of your pins n yearns for something out of the sudden
Misses
greatly
that I really am hoping that I will go back again soon
(crossing my fingers)
But one thing for sure
I can gladly say that I dont miss that feeling anymore
maybe his gone..
maybe not outta my entire life
but till the very point it has nothing to do with his anymore
6.11am,Thurs
Good Morning World!
Looking forward to
POPeye-ing after lecture
also the liveband loving Happy hours session with G
then off to JB for seafood on sat
planned for upcoming movies with D, national Day eve with Kat to yet another Zoukie Junkie High and House loving session with clique clan kiang

everythings good?
you think so?
sounded awesome
but rather Im hoping to go for singfest
but if and only i had the moolah n the gd company(not that i don , but they are jetting out of town *pout*)
and half of me is still not happy happy bcoz none of the companies reply me yet

DAMNIT!!
well i did my part
its within means
and its all about the waiting games

Im merry happy
and i want nothing else
but those small simple goings to just go on n on n on n on n on......
many love~

"Words!, i will no longer buy for they r as worthless as u deem ur love to be priceless"

2008-07-29T00:29:00.004+08:00
All Ive Got Is Nothing But The Waitings Off Me

Time is ticking
I can hear it clearly
Aimlessly is not good at this point of time
I loathe and Darn it

I really am hoping for my phone to ring
from the unknown numbers
Im really just hoping its gona get somewhere

Im Just closing my eyes and hope you will hear and reply me

The Man Above
I seek
====================================
"Avoidance Is Period"

was reading a girl's blog
how she deeply missed her love after he passed on
my heart pinched
imgaine the heartache that girl was going thru, unbearable ! i guess
tears circulated my eyes
a particular entry :

"I was at baby's house on Sunday.
I've this indescribable mixed feeling.
Every time i was there,
it brings back so much memories that tears my heart.
I cried every time i had to walk that lonely path to his house,
dry my tears and wear a smile when i reach.
I sat on his spot, i smell his blanket,
i let my fingertips run through
his lanyard collections, the airplane badges . .
i reminisced the times we were at the house"
..............................................................................
Aunty came to sit beside me and spoke to me.
She told me she didn't know what to say to me,that we are both going through that very immenseheart pain, that kind of excruciating heartache.
that no 3rd person understand the extend of our pain.
I understand her.
I agree with her.
I didn't know what to say to alleviate her pain.tears welled up in both of our eyes, threatening to fall.
I didn't allow them to fall, and i won't,cause i know aunty was fighting hard to hold hers back.
I want to be as brave as aunty.
Yes, we cry every night before we sleep,and morning when we rise.It's going to be that way for a long timetill we finally know how to let go . . .

My tears flows as i read this particular entry
how bad it felt but was even more worst when you hv to contain n surpass that emotion in order to not affect the ppl around you

all i hope of her was
in time her heavy heart will lighten a fair bit
and that her smile tagged on the face of hers will glow once more

cherish if you could
but at the same time be truthful and ernest
the least you could do for one is at least be frank abt the heart of yours to them

2008-07-26T21:31:00.012+08:00
Thurs was post Queens Couture celebration
Lunch over at the Cathy
Jap Resturant (dont rem the name)
ambience wasnt that bad
then off to town to meet Gina and Adrian
Cafe Sitting
as it was getting kinda meaningless
decided to catch the movie
"wedding daze"
the whole time Gina is telling me its a sign its a sign
=_=

Wedding DazE~

Frisky Friday
Was L>O>V>E
first to Dita's dome
for champagne loving
was totally fun just hanging around
gossiping and laughing
then met up with Kat to zouk after like sooooo long
Guest DJ last night was Richie something
He was Awesome!!
was especially fun maybe becoz i havent club for so long
Gf of mine refused to leave till 5 nish
Tiring~
thus refuse to meet up or go out today..

ZOUKIE JUNKIE HIGH!!!

=========================================
Was Browsing polyore and those are my favorite items
how i wish i can own them all
if only i had tons n tons of moolah
ohh well if only!!

WOnder how was LB's Genting Trip soo far..
Hmmmmmmmmmm

happy SUnday Lovessssssss
till then

the heart has reasons
that Reason dont understand

2008-07-24T11:06:00.005+08:00

Little Nothings
Handphone beeps
the small grin on my face
a tear flows
This morning I thought of you once more
I thought to myself and wondered how are you these days
I thought to myself and vividly recalled the words in all the messages
I thought of the cottage the lavender field and tiger
I thought of ur pet name and how u called mine
They are yours and my Yesterday..
They are no longer what we called ours
but just mine to begin with..

"Im sucha fool for you"
"Do you have to let it linger"
-The cranberries

2008-07-23T02:54:00.004+08:00

Im gona be really long winded with this entry
lots in mind lately
not very much about being upset
rather a penny of thought, reflection?
view of point?
well whatever its called..
=================================
Firstly,
im really panicking about internship
like frankly i freaking need to be working and fulfilling the hours
320hours to be done-D is way alot
and by 3 months
not working all day
how is that possible..
OMG seriously
whoever company reply me plsssssssssss
then comes FMP, we have chosen edmund ooi
personally i love his design its the Very ME i call it
Avdent garde kind..
the collections of his is like i likeeeeeeeeeee
the colours is also wad i loved
Im soo praying we will do his label and everything would run smooth and turn out well...

==================================================

Secondly
Disappointment really hit me really hard
I was in fact even the more wanting to prove the worth in the eyes of urs
in time..
an immature comment just showed how brainless you were when u are handling matters..
to that i lose all the respect
to that i wished that for once i wasnt that softheartened
to that all the best in time...

==================================================
Thirdly
I was being torn as to listen to the outer force or still standby with my rationale
i was this once uncertain
but i know
like always and before i leave them all to time..
to understand to relish and to acknowledge
People dont just go about adapting and changing as time goes..
but because there was a reason in doing so therefore the changes was uninvitable

I believe a confidante would be one whom tell u the ugliest fact and compliment you the truth..
I believe what i called besties would be when i see them around when unexpected crisis hit my life..

=)

They dont know you anymore??
or perhaps all along they thought they did?

Now stand strong and if all it takes is to leave them by all means
in life you dont please or keep a person because you feel sorry about ditching the friendship
but instead ask yourself if the so called friendship was worth that many year in just seconds
saying : I dont know you no more...
being mean dont add to you earning popularity
be nice at all ends just makes you feel used...

The differences when in love and in life is
When In Love: Touch my heart only when you have touched yours
When In life: Touch the heart of theirs when you know you had touched yours
i might be wrong im afterall nobody
its just my 2 cent worth of thoughts
you dont have to agree

Good morning Wednesday
and God Bless the loves

2008-07-21T01:53:00.004+08:00
Sat was simply loveeeeee
first to grannies
then off to town meeting the usuals
which i named as "Clique, Clan, Kiang"
when we have enough dose of liveband
we decided that sat night would be a waste if we were to just head home
therefore we decided to catch a movie
time then was around 1 am
but all movies then was sold out
therefore we decided to watch a 3am show
P2
one word GROSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
half the time me and dit is covering our eyes
i never liked horror/killing/thriller movies
worst becoz of the wait time , friends of mine decided to talk abt ghostly encounter
try watching horror movie at 3am in an almost empty cinema
with the ghostly encounter and the movie
i was by then tramatised
i totally didnt sleep well ....
my mind is totally too weak as my imagination would run wildly

but i had lots of fun and am happy to have them
picture upload soon...

God pls grant me an intern place
Amen~
time is ticking and am soo panicking

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define fine
define ok
well definition is one of its own to define
set loose of ownself and further from the thoughts entangled
when u move far u see nothing but blurred vision
but then at the same time ur heart n mind is sober
-my 2 cent worth of thoughts

today im telling me this..

"Blissed is in the eyes simply depending on individual's definition"

2008-07-18T04:22:00.007+08:00
Lately Im having sleepless nights
not that im emo-ing about anything
but i just couldnt seem to be sleeping on the normal hours
was channel switching over at SCV
and i came across a movie at hallmark
titled: Fielder's choice

the story goes like this:

Ambitious young advertising man Phillip Fielder (Chad Lowe) has no time for relationships, and seems to have affection only for his creature comforts -- a source of great dismay for his erstwhile girlfriend, Holly Ford (Marin Hinkle). When his orphaned nephew, an autistic eight-year-old named Zachary (K'Sun Ray), comes to live in Phillip's lavish apartment, Phillip wants no part of surrogate fatherhood and tries to pass the youngster along to his cousin Rose (Miriam Flynn), who happens to live near a group home for special children. But Zach nixes this idea and insists upon living with Phillip, thus throwing together two extremely self-absorbed, obsessive-compulsive characters under one roof. This being a Hallmark Channel presentation, Fielder's Choice will undoubtedly work its way toward a happy and heartwarming finale, though it definitely takes some doing!

Im always a sucker when its movies about family,kinship and usually such shows will end up having me tearing..
perhaps to me i feel even the more for kinship..nt that im more cold blooded in love..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
another thing;
lately was talking to LB about some matters of the heart ( not just about love ) but life and how ppl to ppl define how the love they felt was like and expressed
we just agreed that as long as the person we loved was alive and living well its better as compared to them passing on so suddenly

life goes on, yes it just does and things would not change but by moving on things doesnt change as well dont they?
as a matter of fact you know all along its with u as u move on just a matter of time as usually it will lessen the thought about it but never will you forgetting it

When 2 person part ways,
ppl usually would say he/she will be at loss to not wanting you
u are too deserving for him/her to leave u its his/her loss
The very fact was there was this once when the eyes, the heart and the mind of both are leveled
so its not true that whoever is nt deserving to whoever
its time that they lose to..
its changes that they lose to..
and its cruelly perhaps reality and idealistic that they lose to...

Define love when you know the heart usually rule
Define life when you know that the goings, the happenings, the havings and the changings is the norms for you to get by and go thru

Define yourself?
perhaps soul searching, pondering, thinking to constanting tell and remind urself what is going on.
and not forgetting the beholders to see the things you couldnt see..
that would define you.

at the end of the day, u answer ur own deeds ,ur inner self and also at the same time the loves..

God bless
Its friday

Chilling out
good company
many love
=)

P.S(I was dumbfounded for once i swear, it ws the 1st time i was this unsure that i can reassure myself that it wont happen..OH MY GODDDDDD!! )

2008-07-16T18:57:00.003+08:00
School has finally started

Final Major Project for Graduation
Internship internship internship
Style n trend module

busy busy busy
work, FMP, assignment
Im just treasuring the free time now

till the busy lifestyle hit me soon to come

Im soo waiting for replies now

God Bless
and wish me luck and tons of fun while learning

not forgetting Im fine for now

many loves
its mid week
Im soo looking forward to doing this 3 things
POPEYE-ing
JB Seafood-ing ( hopefully soooooon )
and of cause
Indochine, LiveBand-ing

Life blows moments away with beloved company, drinks and tons of laughter..
thus Cest La vie~

2008-07-10T12:10:00.004+08:00
Its been a long while since i set my arse down that chair and blog about the this and that of
"Whats Going On with the so called mundane life of mine"
many things changes
in a way far better
far and away better than what i made out to be
seriously,
the days with MSO was still fresh in mind
the knowings of the new friends
im truly appeciative about the whole goings

Days that i missed greatly working on MSO ( which i cant use words to ever describe that feeling )
the July 1st that i finally walked and brave away and drift apart with,FINALLY
the hanging out with my bud the whole afternoon
the chillout, the bum intos
and of cause the hospital visits
in all those above,
it teaches me nothing but the heart of mine no longer just lingered with the past, and the yesterdays of what i thought would be hard to forgo

small thoughts make me treasure greatly
especially when im going thru bad times
they just came at the right time

I weep that night for i know i no longer have a reason anymore to convince myself to look out for your goings and happenings, they aint mine to worry or look out to anymore

i miss the bedtime stories..
but I dont miss you anymore

"Past the Point of No return, No Back Glances Our Make Believe Is At An End"

thank you, goodbye

2008-06-24T01:09:00.006+08:00

Very busy for the past few days with Mister singapore and QC's fashion show
finally its over and im really happy to have doned a good job in both show..

Through MSO i have learnt many many stuff all thanks to Adrian and Gina..
and of course having the faith and trust that im able to do the job well
and of coz not forgetting the naughty contestants..
but im thankful that they are all cooperative and without doubt fun to hang out with

Picture overdose
some from Queens couture/MSO after party
Aaron.J one of my models for QC's show

Jovin my MR spore 2008

My new found fun fun friends friends
My All time favourite LB
Lousy drinker
Rudy my QC model
All my male models with LB and Harrod

Alex"Super Hot"

Sharky, Mr Yishun
MISter Singapore 2008

Mr Punggol (Linus the bully)
Adrian my mentor

We are slaves to camera

Alan the man,Linus,Haniff (Mr Sembawang)Me with the Queen of "Peach"

Alan,Linus,Jovin,Haniff,Alex
I was really touched that the guys are soo supportive and hold such close bonds even after the event.
its not about the winning but rather what hv u learnt out of it.
P.S(I cant feel you anymore, 3 months is enough to formally bid u goodbye)

2008-06-14T03:13:00.006+08:00

Was totally shocked by the very fact that it is what it is
I guess frustration overwhelmed all of us
but whats left of us was perhaps, anger... shock and frustration
then again with the many stuff happening lately im totally drained..
now whats left of it?
to make the best out of it?
perhaps

i totally didnt know what to say of you anymore
perhaps no words could describe any further how i felt
disappointment? sense of dislike?
i don know
but i don even wana waste my energy and make it worth thinking for a suited word to fit u...
come 2 weeks
QUICK come and goodbye to u after.....
between anger and disppointment i was disappointed
as i very much hope that there was a chance.
i very much harbour the thought again and again but was utterly disappointed
if there aint gulit there wouldnt be doubt and the question wouldnt hv surface..

God Bless the loves and of cause the people of sichuan and myammar.
i dont miss you no more, in time perhaps i dont feel you anymore
goodbye familiar stranger..
thats the best of me to give
dont look back dont look back

2008-06-09T02:48:00.002+08:00

Last night i thought i did forget
but i realise i remembered even more clearly than before..
Last night i thought i cant make out your looks anymore
but every part of ur feature seems engraved
Last night i thought your laughter was not heard
but its surrounding my ears
now i ask of you to not linger
the best left with me from you is to be happy this time round
goodbye to the heart that feels towards you
goodbye you from me

please pray for me that she loved him enough..

2008-06-06T04:28:00.004+08:00

Please pray for him that this time round his gona deserve that smile and laughter like he mean it
Please pray for him that the other someone will love him enough
Please pray for him that happy days will last him all year round
Please pray for him that from now he will be fairing well

please pray for me that he would be detached from me
..
maybe he already did thats why his moving on...

Goodbye thats what your final words was to me
so mean it...

2008-06-06T01:19:00.002+08:00
Same script different cast
[Whitney:] Um? Hey Deb.
[Deborah Cox:] Mmm hmm?
[WH:] Thank you for being woman enough to come.
[DC:] Whitney, what's this about?
[SUNG][WH:] I know he's leaving me for you.
[DC:] Who said that? Who told you that it's true?
[WH:]What is he tellin' you? Could it be the same things that he told me?
[DC:] He told me that he loved me.
[WH:] I heard that.
[DC:] He told me I was (harmony) beautiful. How did you know? How did you know? [WH:] Because I played that scene before.
[CHORUS:]This is a retake of my life. I was his star for many nights.
Now the roles have changed, And you're the leading lady in his life.
Lights, camera, now you're on. Just remember you've been warned. Enjoy it now, 'cause it won't last. Same script, different cast.
[DC:]What you're saying could be true. But how can I take advice from you?
[WH:]I'm not hating, But I wish the one before me Would have warned me too babe.[DC:] Don't say no more. La La La La La La La La La
[WH:] Uncover your ears, girl.
[DC:] I'm not listening. La La La La La La La La La
[WH:]But I know you hear me. Maybe my reasons are wrong, But I know that you believe me.
[CHORUS][DC] It's your fault you didn't love him enough.
[WH:]That's the problem. I loved him too much. And when you love him He becomes unattracted to you.
[DC:] Oh no, he's changed and I'll prove you wrong.
[WH:] No you won't.
[DC:] So go away. Leave us the hell alone! He loves me.
[WH:] He'll hurt you.
[DC:] He'll stay with me.
[WH:] He'll leave you.

[WH and DC:] For sure! For sure!
[CHORUS][DC:]This is a retake of my life. You were his star for many nights. But now the roles have changed. I'm the leading lady in his life. Lights, camera, now you're on. Just remember you've been warned. Enjoy it now, 'cause this will last. I'm the future, you're his past. [WH:]This is a retake of my life. I was his star for many nights. Now the roles have changed, And you're the leading lady in his life.
[WH and DC:]Lights, camera, now you're on. Just remember you've been warned.
[WH:] Enjoy it now.
[DC:] Enjoy just now.
[WH:] It won't last.
[DC:] I know it will last.
[WH and DC:] Same script, different cast.

* Im your past, shes your future*
*its my fault maybe that i dont love you enough*
Now the roles have changed, your the leading lady in his life

2008-06-04T19:59:00.001+08:00

Goodbye ~
This time round smile and laugh
and mean it, sad creature!!

I wish you, well

2008-05-28T00:40:00.004+08:00

Time was never being unfair to us
it all depends on how u did justice to it
i always say lately that
time is passing fast when we are having fun
time is passing fast when we are busy
and time is passing fast when we are sleeping
if we had 48 hours a day
would the complain lessen..?
well i was disheartened lately with lots of things
but somehow i always seems to talk myself out of it to re believe that this time round it will do me right
this time round it will be recognized
this time round im understood that im not merely that
how long more can i talk myself out of
how long more can i finally sigh and say i did enough

lots of things make me grow alot more inside
ive become more nonchalant to stuff
ive become more stronger in a sense to accept the cruel fact as it is what it is
Withins means is what i took comfort with when i no longer can do much abt it
having in mind to go aboard to study surrounded my mind alot more lately
but i leaves till the day im done with the sch here.

I dont know maybe a change of something might always be good in a way that i will see stuff in another light
the change of environment can perhaps enlighten me

"give it up to the ppl u love u don love n whom u nv will get to love"
in all i wish it well....
it hurts when i know that i dont seem to know you anymore
not that you have changed neither am i
but perhaps silences was perferably the reason why

I await the end result
the showcase
the celebration
the sweet surrenders
and the flexible timetable
all in a months time later
God Bless the loves including you
Pop the moet&Chandon, sway to the music
just be merry happy~

2008-05-25T02:21:00.003+08:00
MAD RUSH!!
at this time of the month usually i would be in a mad mad rush
projects, assignments all having to fully try to be in a mist of half doing
now im still struggling with
Contemperary
ARchs
events
HR
damn its almost everything
its tougher than the previous month..
Library has been my it place to be..
well i love library..having the rows n rows of books and getting lost in it..
more library loving i guess .....
its holiday for the kids
and everyone seems to be going away..
i wana just hop on a plane n fly off,
away frm everything here..

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I make do with the silences that i was given
I make do with the distance that was left of us
I make do with the fact that i dont hv an idea how you will be from now onwards
I make do with you being ok without me
In all in all as long as you are perfectly happy and laughing brightly.
I make do I make do
Just for you~